In this episode Tom talks about navigating tough conversations in order to achieve true communication.
3 Must-Hear Takeaways from this episode
Create a safe space for hard conversations.
Ask questions to better understand the person you’re talking to.
Put motives on the table for clarity and honesty up front.
To cultivate communication, we need to keep the main thing THE MAIN THING. So many times in our conversations with others, we get distracted by things that can offend us, but we have got to stick to the heart of our issue.
What is our goal we want to see out of communication? We can reach that by stating it. Stating the goal for a conversation gives you permission to bring the conversation back to center and helps them other person know where you’re coming from and what you’re trying to get out of the conversation.
We need to own that another person’s failure of action is our failure of communication. We have expected outcomes of someone’s behavior and we get disappointed when that mark wasn’t achieved. Most of the time the reason is our failure is that our conversation is filled with assumptions instead of a clear road map of what we’re hoping for.
When disappointment is involved in communication, we have to resist the fight or flight mentality when we’re confronting a missed expectation.
In order to do that, we have to battle personal assumptions. We overcome that by asking more questions to try and connect with people on a real level and empathize with other people’s views.
Lastly, we have to create a safe place for the hard talks. Lay your motives on the table to disarm and allow for hard work, and reiterate to the person that you understand their view and the objective you had wanted to reach.