Cultivating emotions

In this episode Tom talks about our emotions, identifying and owning them — making sure we are in control rather than being controlled 



3 Must-Hear Takeaways from this episode

Emotions lie to us, things are never as good or bad as they seem in the moment.
Don’t let emotions control your actions or identity.
Stop, challenge, and choose — don’t let emotions own you, figure out the cause of that emotion, and then figure out how to proceed in a healthy way.

Show Notes:

Maturity is the point where we can get our emotions under control instead of them controlling us.


I’m not from the school of thought that says we should have no emotion. But, when we let our emotions control our actions, regret usually follows.


Emotions lie to us. If we’re on an emotional high or in a dark moment, it’s never as good or bad as our emotions say it is. If you look back on your fondest moments or your lowest points, our emotions make it seem better or worse than it was. 


Don’t deny reality, just don’t let emotions rule us in that situation.


How? Stop, challenge and choose. Recognize and own your emotions, remember your goals and dreams, and then choose the healthy way to move past them.


Anger is not a root emotion, it is a “cover” emotion — it covers inadequacy, jealousy, disappointment, or fear among others. To overcome it, stop and figure out what is trigger that anger. 


If you’re know by a particular emotional state, then that emotion is owning you (that doesn’t include depression, bi-polar disorder or other mental illnesses because that is a medical concern). What do you want to be known for and as? Is this emotion holding you back from that?


Find a healthy outlet for your emotions. Lashing out at people, punching walls, overeating, or keeping them inside and not discussing them are not healthy methods for dealing with emotions. Find a physical, creative, or mentally stimulating activity to distract you and relieve your emotions. 


I believe a physical activity that gets the heart rate up is the best way to deal with emotions. That blood flow almost acts as a way to detox your built up emotions.